We'll Take it Slow
by Englishrosepetals
Summary: Set after S33E24, an exploration of Elle's feelings about Connie and how she reacts to the attack. This does contain some mentions of the aftermath of the attack and what could potentially turn into PTSD, so please don't read if that could trigger you in some way. Just a little idea that wouldn't leave me alone, could be continued or left as a oneshot.


**A/N I haven't written anything in a while, so this probably isn't my best work. This idea just wouldn't leave me alone! I obviously don't own the show or the characters, I'm just borrowing them :)**

"Friendship." Elle told herself firmly. "That's all it is!" She sighed and sat down in her living room, trying to distract herself by whatever rubbish was on daytime tv. She'd caught herself thinking about her again. Connie. Her friend and colleague, nothing more, or so she tried to convince herself. Sometimes, she'd allow herself to think that it could be a crush, she'd had crushes on other women before. She'd even allow herself to daydream about what it could be like if anything were to happen between them. But then she'd remember that it was Connie. Connie her boss turned enemy turned friend. Connie who she'd only ever seen have relationships with men. Who has had more than a few rumours about her more provocative days spread by members of staff who'd known her for years. Rumours about men. Connie. Who Elle happened to have thought was attractive and brilliant and fascinating from the moment she'd met her. And that was before they'd even liked each other. "Ugh" she groaned as she realised the time. She was on an evening shift tonight and had managed to waste half of her day trying to sort her own feelings out. At least a potentially busy shift would give her a distraction from the mess in her head. Or so she thought.

She could tell that something had gone wrong the moment she walked in. At first glance there weren't too many things out of the ordinary; the ED was busy as ever. Patients with various ailments filled the seats near the entrance, waiting for one of the increasingly busy members of staff to have the time or the cubicle space to see them. It was the atmosphere that bothered her. The tension you could feel in the air. The worried looks that passed between the medical staff as they whispered by the front desk, even Dylan looked uncharacteristically concerned about something.

"Good evening Doctor Gardner!" Noel greeted her as she walked to the front desk. The small smile he gave her didn't quite reach his eyes, "Just to warn you, we've been told that we should be particularly vigilant when it comes to personal security today." Concern flashed across her face as she noticed the police officers round the corner and walk over to speak to Dylan.

"Why? What's going on?"

"Erm," he started, unsure of how much he should tell the worried looking doctor. Despite their somewhat difficult relationship in the past, the seemingly opposite characters that were Elle Gardner and Connie Beauchamp appeared to have grown much closer over the past year and he was unsure how Elle would react to hearing about the days events, "maybe you should speak to David or Dylan? It's not something we should discuss near patients."

"Right. Thanks." And with the she turned and walked in the general direction she'd seen Dylan go, praying that Noel was just being his usual dramatic self, but knowing in her heart that he wasn't.

The sight of Dylan Keogh still looking worried when she finally found him did nothing to calm her thoughts.

"So, we're being careful with personal security today?" She started, as she walked up to him.

"Huh?" He turned as he noticed her, "Yes. The police think it was probably a one off, but we should probably err on the side of caution with something like this." Elle looked at him concerned, "what was a one-off?" She asked her eyes flitting about the room, she'd seen most of the people from the previous shift already, they were all either waiting for handover or had already finished and she'd seen them walking out. There was one person in particular she hadn't seen though...

"Connie was assaulted." Dylan broke her train of thought. Elle felt as though she couldn't remember how to breathe as he continued, "Physically she was a bit roughed up and she'll need to be careful, but it could've been much worse."

"What exactly happened?" She asked when she eventually remembered how to speak, "and where is she now?"

"We think she was pushed down the stairs outside and then kicked. We don't know any more, Connie either couldn't remember or wouldn't tell us. She was kept in for a bit and then went home about an hour ago."

"Right. Thanks for letting me know." And with that she turned on her heel and headed towards the staff room, her head messier than ever. It wasn't her feelings she was worried about, if anything they were clearer than they had ever been. It was Connie she was worried about. She knew her friend, or whatever Connie was to her, had an awful habit of shutting people out when she needed help. Even if Connie would physically be ok, the psychological effects of an attack like that could be awful and Elle needed to know that Connie really was going to be ok. Reaching for her phone she quickly selected the number from her recent calls list and held her breath as she waited for Connie to answer. Voicemail. She tried again. Same result. After the third time she decided that maybe it was for the best. Connie was probably resting after a difficult day and Elle wasn't sure she even knew what she wanted to say. She wasn't sure if there was anything she could say that would help right now. So, while the E.D. was reasonably quiet and she wasn't particularly needed for once, Elle did the only thing she could think might help might lessen Connie's stress, or at least convince her to stay off for a while. She headed to Connie's office to see if she could help lessen her workload.

If Elle didn't feel heartbroken already, the sight that met her as she reached the office certainly did that. No one would have seen her if they hadn't looked in. Elle almost hadn't noticed until she got to the door, but there sat curled up on the very end of the sofa was Connie. Connie, who was usually so perfectly composed, was curled up with tears in her eyes. And when Connie jumped at the sound of the door as she knocked, Elle felt her heart shatter completely.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Elle started before mentally slapping herself, "Don't answer that. Stupid question. What are you doing here? You should be at home you know. You need to rest, not be at work. Rest is going to be the best thing for you at the moment. It'll help you heal faster. You need to look after..."

"Elle." Connie interrupted, fatigue evident in her voice. Elle stopped and looked at Connie, noting how exhausted Connie looked.

"Sorry. You're probably far too tired for me to be rambling on at you." Elle immediately felt guilty. She was a doctor and the first thing she'd done when she'd seen her injured, distressed friend was go off on a tangent about the importance of rest. To her distressed friend. Who was also a doctor. And probably needed comfort instead of medical advice, "I'll go."

"No! I was just going to ask if you had time to sit with me?" Connie asked quickly and quietly, almost embarrassed by her question, "It's ok if you're too busy." Elle quickly took a seat next to Connie and reached for her hand, noting the slight tremor when Connie gripped it. Sadness washed over her as she thought of all the times she'd wished for some sort of physical contact with Connie. Every situation she'd imagined them getting into, none of them had been anything like this. She shook herself out of her thoughts quickly. Now was not the time to be thinking about her daydreams, now was the time to focus on Connie.

They sat in silence for a time, both staring at the drawn blinds of the window opposite. Elle tried again to think of something helpful to say but kept drawing a blank before Connie finally broke the silence, "I... I will go home soon. I'm just not ready yet." She said timidly.

"Not ready in what way?" Elle asked gently, trying to coax her into talking about the issue. Maybe this time Elle could stop her friend closing off completely, as Connie seemed to have done to every other person she had been close to during difficult times. Connie considered Elle for a moment. She hated discussing her feelings with anyone and she'd already been seen in a vulnerable state by far too many today. Still, her hatred for discussing her feelings hadn't exactly done her any favours in the past and she felt like she could trust Elle in a way that she hadn't been able to trust anyone in a long time.

"It's just... it's just hard. To go outside." Elle turned as Connie spoke, sympathy in her eyes as the other woman continued, "I don't know who did it. They could be anywhere, waiting for me. I don't know why they did it, I don't know if it'll happen again, I just don't know! And. And I'm scared to go out on my own. I'm scared to go home and be there on my own in case they turn up. It feels safer in here, knowing that there's plenty of people in the E.D. who would see if someone came in. I'm sorry, I probably sound ridiculous!" Elle sighed as she listened. It was difficult to hear about Connie's fears, but she was glad that she was talking about it.

"You definitely don't sound ridiculous. And besides, that's my job!" Connie gave a small laugh at that, then noticeably winced in pain. Deciding that Connie was probably feeling vulnerable enough, Elle ignored the wince and tried to remain fairly upbeat as she continued, "if you don't like the idea of being on your own, then why don't you come and stay with me? The boys are on half term and all seem to be away with friends or spending time with their respective fathers, and Ethan owes me a favour and could probably cover a couple of my shifts. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. We'll take it slow and talk about things if and when you're ready. For now, I could just use it as an opportunity to force you to watch all those classic movies you've never seen?"

Connie didn't know what to say. On the one hand she was already embarrassed enough after being seen in such a state and then admitting that she was scared. But on the other hand she really wasn't sure how she'd cope with being on her own while she was on sick leave. Her fear was worse than she'd described to Elle, she didn't know how to explain why exactly, but the thought of being alone was terrifying. Plus, it was Elle. Her friend, although how they'd managed to become friends, she still wasn't sure. But there was something nice between them, something that made spending time together easy and enjoyable. Something that made her want to spend more and more time with Elle. Something she hadn't really experienced before with anyone. So, if anyone could make her feel more relaxed so she could recover, it would be Elle.

"If you're absolutely sure it wouldn't be too much trouble?" She watched as Elle shook her head to indicate that it wasn't, "Ok. Thank you."

**Thanks for reading! Please feel free to review and let me know if you think I should continue this or if you think it's better left as a oneshot:)**


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